Why are decisions so hard sometimes?

I have sooo much on my mind right now it's crazy. I don't know if I should really write about this on my blog... but Elliott isn't home and I need to get it out and weigh my options and I figured on paper was a good way. And I don't want to bore anyone talking to them about it, so I figured... my blog... my rules :)  So, I have been pushed into a position to make a decision I was not planning to have to make as far as my career goes.  It has been extremely stressful on me but at the same time I am so grateful to even have these opportunities arise in my life.  I will fill you in a bit... I have had my Real Estate License since May 2011. I decided I wanted to pursue it full time when Elliott got a new job and financially we didn't need my income anymore. So in October I quit my job and jumped in! Scary, yet exciting.  It was really nice being able to stay home and work and make my own schedule. It was what I have always wanted! But it also wasn't exactly what I was expecting.  They don't teach you how to be an agent in school. They teach you the laws and lingo. To be honest, I thought it would be a lot easier than it is!! It has been challenging that's for sure. I am stuck because I don't want to annoy people and but them all the time about buying or selling a house... but then I am told to do so so people know and remember I am an agent.  It's really hard I think to try to balance that out.  Side note: If I have bothered you I'm sorry.... Just trying to make a living! lol  Anyways, let me get to the point here.  I have been doing it full time since October and I feel like things have been moving a little slower than I would like. Especially now that Elliott and I bought a Lot and want to start building soon I need to start bringing in some serious dough! So I decided last week when a friend came to me and said her company was hiring for an assistant position that I would go for it and just go back to working a 9-5 job. (This company is still a brokerage, so it is still in the Real Estate field where I want to be.) I also thought this would be a great learning experience as well since I would be shadowing the top agents in Utah! So heck... why not right?! So I got a call back to go in and interview. I went in confident. I really knew I would get the job. My resume was excellent, I have the sales and customer service sales experience, I have the personality, and Real Estate is where I want to be! I had it in the bag. Oh was I wrong.... ha! The interview was going really well. I could tell they were diggin me and I felt very comfortable and secure.  I was then asked the question, "where do you see yourself in 3-5 years?". I said, "selling houses". That is when things went sour.  Turns out they wanted someone who wasn't interested in selling anymore and just wanted an hourly job.  So I sat there thinking, "great, I blew it. Why did I have to say that." I started getting uncomfortable and tried back tracking but they started asking me all these other questions that really just led me deeper into my passion to help people buy houses! So then the two main guys said they needed to talk and walked out of the room. They came back a little later and... This is where the SPIN starts... They offered me a job to be on their team!! That is Huge! They are the top selling agents in Utah and they just offered me to join their team! wow... WOW! You are thinking... okay then take the job then right? .... oh... if only it were that simple. There are pro's and con's to everything. Especially big decisions. Which for me this is huge. I have a really great broker (boss) right now whom I love and I am working on a different team with a builder which is an amazing opportunity and a blessing that was handed to me a couple months ago. They are just getting started and have around 60 Lots they are going to build on and I get to be a part of that! Amazing! I really don't know how or why these opportunities land in my lap! I also have another builder that I am working with who will not switch over with me if I change jobs... So I am truly letting some really good things go... That is why this is tough. My mind and pride are saying, "go with the top selling agents in Utah duh! There are agents out there who would kill to work on their side!" But my gut gives me these really unsure feelings about it and I honestly don't know why.  I wish I could just have one sure way... but that would be too easy I guess. 
I am not afraid to jump in and give it my all. I want and know I can be a really successful agent. I believe this company who has offered me this job can really help make me great. But I am still leaving behind really great things. I wish someone would tell me the answer!
Why is making decisions so hard? Why can't I have it easy and just have been able to be the assistant?! haha... I remember when my dad got offered a job transfer to move back to California. I know that was a hard decision for him to make.  The pay would have been better there but he had to make the right choice for his family.  We prayed as a family and my dad decided to stay in Utah. He has questioned that decision before... wondering how things would be different or if they would have been better... or worse.... As most of you know, the kids in my family haven't been the best decision makers when we were in high school (especially me) and my dad has wondered what it would have been like if we moved back to Cali. But.... all in all, we stayed. My dad made that decision and I know it was the right one. Have you ever not wanted to pray about something because you almost feel like you know what the answer is going to be?! lol I have!! That is my pride!
Sorry if you read this whole thing! I know pretty boring. I wanted to write about what is going on in my head right now and it honestly helped to write it out! :)

Blogging....

I guess I should at least try to blog... It is actually really hard to do! I can't ever think of anything to write about... I feel like I don't have anything new ever happen to me :/  I could start from the beginning of when Elliott and I got married I guess and work my way to now... But that would take FOREVER! haha! So.... any ideas on where to start anyone? Or is from the 'beginning" pretty much where I should begin? Suggestions? lol